What Reality Calls For

I checked out of the hospital yesterday after a hernia operation and spent the day resting at my attorney’s house.

Today, the real healing begins as I make my way back to El Huizachal, the ranch that has been such an important part of my family’s life.

My attorney is also a dear friend, and there is a rhythm we usually have when I am here. He tends to his legal practice and his farm. I arrive with things to handle at the ranch and at the property in the city. We get moving, compare notes, solve things, and one thing leads to another.

But this time is different. As he keeps moving at his normal pace, I am aware that I can’t and shouldn’t try to match that energy right now. My body is asking me to slow down, even when the people around me are still moving.

With the help of familia, I identified a few people who could stay with me for a few days and help with cooking, cleaning, basic post-surgery care, and making sure I do not try to do more than my body is ready to do. Even choosing the right person became part of taking care of myself.

During recovery, it is not only about tasks. It is also about whether someone’s presence feels steady and peaceful enough for the space your body needs to heal.

The person I chose had been the first choice all along. She sounded steady, simple, and grounded. At one point, she offered to bring her own molcajete to make salsa. That small detail took me back to memories of my grandmother at the ranch.

This morning, I will pick Aurelia up, take her to the market, and then head to the ranch. I will have to resist the urge to walk through the store with her, carry bags, make decisions, and act as if I am not recovering from surgery.

Even leaving the hospital reminded me of that. Discharge took a while, maybe a Mexico thing or maybe a universal hospital thing, and there I was with a bag full of books, my planner, headphones, toiletries, and other things I probably should not have been carrying.

I also need to postpone a planned visit from one of my cousins to El Huizachal on Sunday. Normally, I would want to host, show the house, make coffee, offer food, and make the visit meaningful. But this week, taking care of myself means not hosting or turning recovery into another responsibility.

This week, taking care of myself will look ordinary: short walks, no lifting, phone, laptop, coffee, water, simple food, rest, and listening to what my body is telling me.

Many of us learn to override the body in the name of responsibility. We keep going because there is always something to handle. But sometimes responsibility is much quieter than that. Sometimes it begins with listening, and with accepting that the body gets a vote.

My body is bringing me back to the present moment, not as an idea, but as reality. This is not the reality I planned, but it is the reality that is here. 

What reality calls for right now is simple: slow down, receive help, postpone what can wait, and be present enough to heal.

My Auténtico Self™