This is Enough

Earlier today, I wrote about allowing my body to have a vote. By this evening, I felt what that actually meant.

Yesterday, I checked out of the hospital after the operation and spent the day resting at my attorney’s house. Today, I made my way to El Huizachal with Eugenia.

She helped unload most of what I brought, while I carried only what I could safely manage: a sack of bananas, my toiletry bag, and a few small things that weighed almost nothing. That may not sound like much, but for someone used to carrying, handling, organizing, and getting things done, even that small act of restraint mattered. It was a quiet way of saying to my body, “I am listening.”

When I walked into the house, something in me released. I sat in one of our recliner chairs, and I think I napped for a while.

Later, Eugenia made a simple chicken stew. In the evening, I ate yogurt and bananas near the light of an almost-full moon.

There was nothing dramatic about it. There was just land, stillness, food, help, and the strange relief of realizing that not everything needs my attention right now.

What a radical notion.

Tomorrow, Eugenia will sauté hartón cactus cut from my own property. I look forward to savoring something that comes from this land, this place, and this soil. It would be even sweeter if my wife, son, and close friends were here too, but I am grateful for what is here.

From where I am resting, I can see the two young jacaranda trees near where my parents’ tribute will be placed, and where their ashes will rest early next year.

That gives this healing a deeper kind of quiet. I am recovering in a place that holds memory, family, grief, love, and future.

So this evening, I am not trying to be productive. I am not trying to make the most of the day, manage the next decision, or turn recovery into another project. I am letting my body tell me what it needs, and I am allowing the world to be placed on pause.

For those of us who are used to carrying responsibility, that can feel strangely difficult. We know how to act, solve, decide, organize, and keep moving. What we do not always know how to do is release the need to be useful for a while.

But sometimes rest is not avoidance. Sometimes stillness is not weakness. Sometimes letting go is exactly what allows us to return with more clarity, strength, and presence.

Tonight, as the day ends, this is enough. Esto es suficiente.

My Auténtico Self™