Letting A Plan Breathe

A few days ago, reality kicked my ass.

I had a flat tire in Mexico while still recovering from hernia surgery. I could not change the tire myself because I am not supposed to lift, bend, or strain right now. At the same time, I still had property responsibilities, decisions to make, and a long drive back to the U.S. somewhere on the horizon.

My game plan was to leave next Saturday.

That was the plan in my head: get as much done as possible, make it back, and keep moving through the next set of responsibilities waiting for me.

That part comes from way back.

Part of it comes from my Hispanic upbringing. I learned early to get things done, to figure things out, to help my parents, to carry responsibility, and to keep moving. There is strength in that. It made me resourceful, capable, and willing to step into whatever needed to be handled.

But that strength also has another side.

Sometimes I plan unilaterally. I think unilaterally. I build the whole strategy in my own head and start moving as if the plan is already settled. Marriage has helped me see that. Leadership has too.

When I talked with my wife, she listened and said, in essence, “Don’t rush. You are still in recovery. I can get our friend to help. They have boat and jet ski experience.”

That one conversation changed the self-imposed pressure I had created for myself.

The priorities did not disappear. The property still mattered. The drive still mattered. My recovery still mattered. But the story around all of it shifted.

I did not have to force everything through one narrow version of the plan. I could bring the plan into relationship and let it get better.

I could pressure test it. I could acknowledge my tendency to carry the whole thing myself. I could let my wife become an ally in the decision instead of informing her after I had already decided.

After that conversation, I walked the property in my favorite jeans.

Small pleasures.

Our son called, asking about remotely managing the 360 camera because he could see me walking through the property. My wife’s suggestion gave me room to ease into departure instead of rushing it.

I still have priorities. I am just holding them differently.

That is something leadership keeps teaching me.

Sometimes the issue is not that we lack discipline. Sometimes the issue is that we are over-applying discipline to a plan that needs to breathe.

Leadership is not always pushing through. Sometimes it is talking through the plan with someone you trust, letting them help you see the load more clearly, and being willing to reframe the next step.

That is not weakness.

That is leadership with reality, partnership, and change included.

My Auténtico Self™