A Candle Lights Others Best When It Does Not Burn Out

This saying applies to many of us where sacrificio, giving, and familia are not just values but obligations we inherit.

This is for all of you who carry the weight of others:

🔥 You matter, too.

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The Culture of Giving — and the Silent Toll

In our culture, it feels natural — expected — to put ourselves last.

You grow up seeing your mamá serve everyone before sitting down — if she sits at all.

You see your papá come home late, worn thin, but up again before sunrise.

You see abuelos keep quiet about their needs — “no quiero ser una molestia.”

It becomes part of us — this quiet, noble instinct to burn our own wax so others can see.

But at what cost?

Many of us wear that orgullo like a badge, but deep down, we feel tired, invisible — even resentful.

We light others — but if we burn out, our flame is gone for everyone.

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A Tale of Two Candles

One candle burns from both ends — fast, furious — but quickly becomes a puddle of wax.

The other stands steady — flame warm, measured — lighting the room through the night.

Which one truly serves others?

Too many of us have been the first — proving our worth through endless sacrificio, afraid of being called egoísta or flojo.

But to light others best — to truly leave luz — we must first tend our own flame.

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The Hidden Danger of Burning Out

Burnout shows up as:

• Stress leading to illness

• Emotional distance

• Feeling “used up”

• Forgetting what you want or feel

Real strength is sustainable.

It protects its own flame so it can keep lighting the way.

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Why Do We Burn Ourselves Out?

I’ve seen — and lived — these reasons:

🕯️ Fear of judgment — afraid of seeming débil if we say no.

🕯️ Identity tied to sacrifice — worth defined by what we do for others: “hay que ser útil.”

🕯️ Lack of permission — raised to see rest as laziness: “¿quién te crees?”

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Turning the Flame Inward

To change this, we need to give ourselves permiso to light ourselves first:

✅ Practice saying no — without explanation.

✅ Schedule time for yourself — even if it feels extraño.

✅ Ask for help — you don’t have to carry everything alone.

✅ Let go of guilt — your worth is not measured by how much you suffer.

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What Happens When You Protect Your Flame?

You:

• Model healthier behaviors

• Show others they deserve rest

• Bring energy and creativity

• Build love, not resentment

You teach others: we are here to shine — not burn.

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A Message to My Hermanas y Hermanos

We come from people of resilience, sacrifice, and love — but also of descanso and celebración.

We honor them by shining fully — not just burning for others.

Here is your permiso: care for your flame.

You don’t have to explain. You already deserve it.

Because a candle lights others best when it does not burn out.

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You are not just the candle — you are the light.

Don’t let guilt or fear extinguish you.

✨ You matter. Your flame matters. Your light is a gift.